Mom Fail #372!!

As I've mentioned before, Motherhood is hard.  And I wasn't lying when I said I have no idea what I'm doing.  But I can't help but wonder, who does?

I know there a million books out there you can buy that tell you all the latest and greatest in child rearing and raising.  But seriously, who has time to read these?  I know what you're thinking.....Mom of the Year, right?  I did purchase one of these books and one was given to me.  The one I purchased read like a textbook and quickly went in the recycle bin.  The one given to me was hilarious and made my pregnancy stress actually far less overwhelming, so I passed it on to another Mom.


However, even when all the expert advice is given, read, poured over, and obsessed about, Motherhood doesn't ever go the way we think it will.  Kids are insane.  Awesome, but totally crazy.  And they will, without a doubt, find ways to push our buttons and bring us to the very brink of sanity.  But Moms prevail.....that's what makes us so freaking awesome. 

What every Mom needs, is not a fancy book with advice, but another stellar Mom they can count on.  These Moms are the ones we celebrate our accomplishments with, no matter how small (yes, "I made it out of the house without spit up or soggy graham cracker on my work clothes" counts).  These Moms are the ones we also cry, scream, laugh, and drink with.  These Moms rock.

For me, these Moms are my college roommates, my own Mom, and my sister-in-law.  My college roommates and I, God bless them, have gone from holding each other's hair over the toilet, to contributing society members, wives, and now Mothers.  They've seen me at my lowest and my absolute best and I cherish every second with them.  My Mom is there for me through the hilarious, as well as the terrifying and of course, the embarrassing.  She's never judged me, lied to me, or thought I was crazy for something I'm obsessing over.  My sister-in-law and I share our Mom Fails, as we lovingly refer to them.  There's no judgment, tons of hand-me-downs (both directions!), and she makes a mean Bloody Mary.

We all need these Moms.  We need to laugh at our Mom Fails.  Yes, my daughter ate sand last weekend at the 4th of July festivities in the park. Mom Fail!  I also let her sit in the mud and play in her tutu at the same park a few months back at my niece's birthday party.  Honestly, what kid hasn't eaten sand?  And what fun is life if you can't get mud on your tutu?

At the same 4th of July event, I watched another Mom watch in horror as her child fell off the slide.  He was fine.  "Mom Fail #372!!" is what I wanted to yell at her as I ran up to high five her.....buuuuutt I'm not sure she'd think that was as awesome as I would.  She looked pretty embarrassed.  Why, I ask?  Why?  We all have them.  So why not laugh at them together?!  I don't believe for one second that any Mom has it all together.....some are just better at pretending than others.

I know there are Moms (and Dads) out there, like us, that can see the humor in this thing called Parenthood.  If you can't, may God bless you....cause life is going to be rough for you.

Mom Fails are ok....really.  As long as our kids are safe, happy, and healthy, let the Mom Fails go.  Laugh at them.  Even celebrate them!  They are lessons learned.  Sometimes it's all you can do to maintain some sanity.  Let them eat junk (or dirt), go the bed late, fall (do a burpee!!) and get dirty.

Life is too short to worry about doing it right.  They're going to turn out fine.  Do your best, laugh, cry, scream if you have to, and high five that Mom whose Mom Fail you just witnessed.  We could all use the encouragement and support sometimes. 

You Don't Get Today Back

As parents, we sometimes forget our child is growing.  I realize that sounds idiotic.  Duh, of course they’re growing.  However, I know I’m not the only parent in the world to look at their child (who we see every single day) and suddenly think “holy crap, you are SO big!”, "when the hell did that happen?!". 

They happen all the time, these reality moments.  We then get caught between conflicting emotions of unprecedented pride, fighting with utter denial that our child is not the tiny, innocent, completely-dependent infant we brought home from the hospital.  It happens slowly, yet so fast it feels like whiplash…..it’s a parental phenomenon.

These moments can be brought on by a number of things: they accomplish something new; the first time they fit into an outfit that looked ginormous the day we bought it, or when they outgrow another; a new word; a new laugh; even seeing a picture taken several months ago.  The point is, it happens all the time.  And we are so busy with our day to day activities, duties, and just-get-through-the-day mindset that we forget they are constantly changing. 

We forget that we don’t get today back.  That might not seem that significant….it’s just one day right?  There’s always tomorrow.  What difference does one day make?  ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!   

Admittedly, there are days I’m so tired, I can barely think straight and I just want to shut down for a bit.  Or I have a ridiculous laundry list (including laundry!) of things that need to get done.  But that’s just the point!  There’s always something– it’s called LIFE!  And it never slows down.  There’s always something else that needs doing, cleaning, or fixing.  I will probably be tired for another 18 years, so buck up!

When Baby Girl wants to be held; whether she’s tired, happy, frustrated, overwhelmed, nervous, shy, excited, or sad….hold her.  HOLD HER.  Hold her every single second you can.  Because very soon, much sooner than I want to admit, she won’t want me to hold her.  She doesn’t want me to hold her enough now!  Like many parents, I’m so guilty of getting caught up in a task or in my exhaustion that I miss an opportunity to pick her up when those tiny arms reach up to me.  The moments to hold her are now on her authority, not mine.  I don’t miss one often, but a missed moment is a missed moment and soon they’ll end. 

So enjoy the moment.  The list can wait. Pick her up again, rock her one more minute, play another game, read one more story, kiss her once more, hold her just a bit longer.

Remember, you don’t get today back.

 

 

 

I Wasn't Going To Be That Mom

I wasn’t going to be “that Mom”.  The Mom who loses touch with her childless friends after having a baby.  But guess what, I have.  Not all, but many.  Quite frankly, some of you needed to go and it simply took having my daughter to make that an easy decision.  But many didn’t need to go.  You just did.  It got harder and harder to do late nights out, or meet up for a “quick” catch up.  Motherhood doesn’t allow for “quick”.  Getting a baby anywhere isn’t a quick task.  Yes, they require a lot of crap!  Sometimes we Mothers can overdo it, we know.  But when we don’t have all the snacks, toys, wipes, and other nonsense that we occasionally need to soothe a fussy baby or entertain a squirmy toddler, things can get a little crazy.  So we plan for disaster….we’re Moms, that’s what we do. 

I have now become blessedly attached to my other Mommy friends (or those expecting to be).  Moms with kids my daughter’s age, even those with kids much older than mine that are out of diapers, daycare, even in high school.  Because they get it.  They get what it takes to take a toddler to a restaurant for girl’s night not long before bedtime, or lunch after just a short nap in the car.  They are happy to help me entertain her while we catch up.  They don’t hold it against me if her throwing something distracts me momentarily.  As a whole, Moms are there for one another to entertain, offer a helping hand (although, we all know Moms sprout extra arms almost immediately), hold a crier, talk to a screamer, or just help avoid a full-on public meltdown.  It’s these girls…these Moms, I am so grateful for.  Some of you non-Moms are awesome with our little ones and we love you.  To the rest, it’s nothing personal.  You just don’t get it and we don’t need to spend our little free time stressing over you and your potential annoyance. 

I wasn’t going to be “that Mom”.  The Mom whose house looks more like a war zone than a home.  But so help me, the day my daughter learned how to move without my help, the game was over.  My house regularly looks like a bomb went off.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s clean, as in the counters and floors are scrubbed, but good luck seeing any surface under the shrapnel.   My toddler has not only discovered how fun it is to pull out every toy she owns, but how amazing it is to pull everything (and I mean everything) out of the cupboards and drawers in every room of the house.  My kitchen will have pots, pans, bowls, and Tupperware strewn about, while the bathrooms have cotton balls and Qtips all over.  And this happens all day, including in the morning while I scramble about to get both her and myself ready for work!  Put child locks on you say?  Sure.  So sue me if I want to keep one scrap of normalcy in my house.  For now, we have locks on the worst of the cupboards and drawers….the rest are fair game.  And yes, we do the same cleanup song and dance multiple times a day.  It only lasts a few years right?  Someday I’ll long for the mess. 

I wasn’t going to be “that Mom”.  The Mom who wants to stay home with her child instead of work.  But the minute that little girl joined my world I’d have given my left arm to stay home with her.  My husband and I both work and I never thought I’d say it, but I’m envious of the Moms that get to spend all day with their children.  I understand it’s not easy and I convince myself I’d need a hobby or part time job.  But nothing angers me more than hearing a SAHM complain about being home with her kids.  Those of us with no choice don’t want to hear about it.  Sure we get out and about and get to have adult conversations, but I would give anything to spend more time with my girl.  You complaints are wasted on me. 

I wasn’t going to be “that Mom”.  The Mom who gives her child anything she wants to quiet a tantrum.  Within reason of course!  But good Lord, even for an incredibly happy toddler like mine, there’s a limit to a good day.  After a long day of everything I have on my plate, if you want a graham cracker instead of the chicken, by all means, have the damn graham cracker! Goldfish?  Here you go!  Just let Mommy sit for 30 seconds.  Here, have another graham.

I wasn’t going to be “that Mom”.  The Mom who posts nothing but pictures of her child on social media.  I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but my daughter is my life now.  I don’t have all that much else to post about!  My nights and weekends are precious hours spent with my family and we don’t always get out for big, interesting adventures.  And when we do, they are family adventures!  So that’s what I post about.  I realize, my non-Mom Facebook friends may be sick to death of pictures of my daughter, but I’m sure many Moms can agree that when you capture that perfect face or precious moment, you can be damn sure we’re going to share it! 

I did promise myself when I had my daughter that I would never ever post pictures of her with food all over her face.  Because no matter how cute it may seem at the time, it completely grossed me out to see on Facebook (and still does).  So I will continue to grant my “friends” that grace and avoid such postings.  But the rest, you’ll just have to get over. 

Like many of you, I have “friends” on Facebook that I have not seen or heard from in years, so who cares, right?  My family loves to see pictures of my little one!  I love to see theirs!!  I enjoy the hell out of seeing other Moms celebrate milestones and precious moments.  So although you may be tired of videos of my daughter ramrodding around on her Minnie Mouse ride-along, I’ve seen my fair share of your bar hopping.  If I over-post my cute kid pictures, I’m sorry. Un-friend me if you must.

There were a lot a things I was going to do differently, better.  I may have become many things I didn’t think I would, but one thing is for certain….Motherhood has made me stronger, bolder, and better than I could have ever imagined.  And being THAT Mom feels pretty damn good.

Mommy Meltdown

I had a moment in Walgreens today...  I was stopping in to pick up a few prescriptions and I walked by the baby isle - like I have a gazillion other times before! But today was different. Today, when I walked by that isle and glanced in, I paused and quickly realized, there is nothing in that isle that I need to stop for. My baby girl doesn't need a new fun colorful bink, or formula, or a new bottle, or rattle. And for the life of me, I stood there like a fool and cried. I couldn't help myself! She is only 15 months and has a life time of growing ahead (not to mention some crazy toddler days to come), but her baby days are gone.

She is growing so much and learning something new every day and it's magical to watch and experience. But it made me realize how quickly she is growing and becoming a tiny, independent, person. The baby in her is fading.

Last night I asked her if she wanted to go brush her teeth and go to bed. So she looked up at me from her toys in the living room and made a mad dash to the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. I lifted her over the gate and after methodically climbing the stairs, she stood up and went straight to the bathroom and reached up for her toothbrush. It's moments like this that make me so unbelievably proud. But in the back of my mind are those glimmering memories when she would let me hold her for hours at a time. Now she only wants to be held for a few minutes or to get a better look at something...then she's off to the races.

I know I'm not the only mother in the world to experience this phenomenon. I was told a hundred times by countless parents how fast the time goes. And MAN were they right! Yet, you never really get it until you experience it. It's incredible and all you can do moving forward is warn other first time parents of the exact same phenomenon and that they too will look at their child one day and think, "what the hell just happened?!".

Time is a miraculous thing. And until Doc and Marty show up at my door with the delorean, all I can do it march forward. March forward, and cherish every single moment I have with this sweet angel that chose to grace me as her mother. She is my world and I look forward to every milestone, every accomplishment, and every lesson she has yet to learn. It's been an incredible journey so far and there's only greatness to come......and maybe a few more Walgreens meltdowns.